To spare you the pain, here’s a list of the top ten movies to avoid watching with your parents. Of course, we can’t help you if they happen to walk in during a bad moment (and doesn’t it seem like they always do?), so watch those doors. Some guidelines:
- We’re only including mainstream, wide-release movies on our list, and we’re excluding indies, horror, gore, exploitation, porn, and other genres that go for shock or titillation by definition.
- We’re also avoiding movies that are known almost exclusively for being erotic, like “Unfaithful.” We’re focusing instead on movies with scenes that can sneak up on you; scenes that you wouldn’t necessarily expect to pop up when you’re sitting down with mom and dad.
- We’re sticking to US releases in English (just because these are what we know).
If we didn’t have these guidelines, something like “Irreversible” or “A Serbian Film” would probably be at number 1. *Cringe.*
Without further ado, here are…
(WARNING: SPOILER ALERT)
It’s a great movie, but it’s got uncomfortable scenes involving prostitutes and Christian Bale flexing and pointing at himself in the mirror while he’s, uh, on the job. And we don’t mean the investment banking one. Now if you’ll excuse us, we have to return some videotapes.
It’s bizarre and complex in typical David Lynch fashion, and it has some pretty graphic lesbian sex scenes between Naomi Watts and Laura Harring. You might find yourself watching it with the ‘rents because it’s a well-known “see if you can figure out what on earth is going on” film. It’s film school complicated with surprise sex on top.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone aren’t exactly known for censored, family-friendly stuff, but they make even South Park look tame with an absurd puppet sex scene that spans several minutes and increasingly ridiculous positions. And whatever you do, don’t watch the unrated version around the parents. Trust us.
http://www.amazon.com/ has the kit on sale